Charity’s
grandmother and mother were exchanging some
harsh words with a family member that Charity
didn’t know. The only thing she knew was that
her mother was highly insulted and angry.
Charity’s grandmother and aunt were trying to
calm her mother down somewhat.
She didn’t pay a lot of attention to the
conversation at hand but realized right off
that her mother was upset over something
someone had done regarding the removal of a
page of names from the family Bible.
You see, Charity’s cousin had been born with
a physical defect. The medical profession
that existed during that time didn’t have a
word for the birth defect. The only
explanation that existed for members of the
elite family was harsh and judgmental.
Charity’s cousin, Matt had been born with
what is referred to these days as intersexed
or transgendered. That means that Matt had
been born literally with both male and female
genitalia, leaving her real sex a
question.
While Matt was raised, for the most part,
male, she and her family realized early on
that raising her as a male had been a
mistake. It was clear to everyone that Matt
should have been raised a female. This birth
defect not only raised questions within the
family but also shrouded Matt’s head with
confusion and doubt.
When Matt was old enough to receive the
proper treatment for her condition she was
taken to a physician who at the time, was on
the cutting edge of technology. Matt’s
condition was corrected and Matt finally
became Mattie. The transformation brought a
huge sigh of relief to her family, not to
mention the peace it brought Mattie, but as
much as it was a relief to many of the family
members, it was a black mark and
embarrassment to other members of the
family.
Members of the family who were pious and
self-righteous could not understand or accept
the transformation of Matt to Mattie. They
looked at the situation as evil and devilish.
They instantly condemned family members who
had anything to do with Matt’s transformation
and refused to see the circumstances for what
they really were. It was totally against
everything they believed in and was the
subsequent reason for the actions they
decided to take.
Mattie’s immediate family, which included
everyone from Mattie to her grandmother and
anyone who agreed with the transformation and
everyone in between, were immediately
ostracized from the pious half of the family.
Mattie’s grandmother’s sister, who was by all
rights the most religious of the bunch,
decided that Mattie’s family should be
removed and discarded as a portion of her
family. The pages that listed the names of
Mattie’s side of the family and all of her
kin were torn out of the hundred year old
family Bible and all traces and memories of
that side of the family would never be
considered as a part of their family.
When Mattie’s mother was informed of the
action taken by what she believed was her
loving Aunt, she was outraged and hurt. She
voiced her opinion on the matter in front of
everyone who was present at the family
gathering and she didn’t hold back a word of
how she felt. After all, Mattie was a
completely normal, loving child and didn’t
deserve to be judge in this manner from
people who were literally no better than
anyone else. The only thing that made them
better was their warped belief system and
inability to practice what they preached so
heavily.
As the years continued to pass, Mattie’s life
can only be described as her brother put it.
Mattie had transformed from a confused gawky
child into a well-rounded, intelligent
individual. It was as though a beautiful
butterfly had emerged from a lifelong cocoon
that had been filled with sadness and
confusion. Mattie blossomed into a beautiful
young woman.
The other side of the family couldn’t accept
the distasteful transformation and vowed
never to associate with Mattie’s family
again.
With each generation, a storyteller is born.
There exists an individual in every family
who has a built in desire to investigate the
past and bring forth the spirits of their
ancestry. Mattie was the storyteller in her
family.
When she was still a young girl of fourteen,
her desire to research her family tree grew.
The family incident in her grandmother’s
house had long been forgotten and life had
taken the different families on their own
journey.
Mattie, her mother and her mother’s mother
filled page after page of family history.
While certain questions were always ignored
or left unanswered, through the years, Mattie
uncovered family members and ancestors from
hundreds of years back. The more Mattie
uncovered from her ancestry, the more she dug
for answers.
Throughout the search of her ancestry, there
always remained one particular portion of her
family that continued to puzzle her. When she
found clues to that side of the family or
when she found someone who knew anything or
had answers, when they realized they were
speaking to Mattie, all communication ceased.
That puzzled Mattie, although she had an idea
as to why.
It never failed. When Mattie could finally
discover a family member from that side of
the tree, she would seek as much information
from them as possible. But, when they
realized whom they were dealing with, which
was the Black Sheep, the one who had been
ostracized so many years ago, correspondence
of any kind stopped and not a word more was
exchanged. It was as though the descendants
from that side of the family had continued to
carry on the judgmental actions their
ancestors had cursed them with so long ago.
The judgmental conditions continue to exist
to this day.
The actions and decisions from so many years
ago, passed down to the next generations and
beyond have left Mattie with a whole in her
ancestry. Not only has it left Mattie without
the privilege of a portion of her ancestry,
it leaves that side of the family without the
ability to share the experiences and events
that molded Mattie’s life and the lives of
her other ancestors.
Without knowing the circumstances or
situations in Mattie’s family’s lives,
members of Mattie’s ancestry took it upon
themselves to try their best to remove the
existence of Mattie from their heritage. They
have unwittingly denied themselves of knowing
about Mattie and her immediate family. They
have denied knowing or sharing any portion of
Mattie’s life as well as denying themselves
the privilege of knowing first hand any
accomplishment or positive part of Mattie.
They have automatically labeled Mattie and
anyone connected to her as someone not good
enough to be listed as part of their
family.
While these ancestors and descendants of a
noble family continue to carry on their
legacy, they don’t realize they leave a very
important part of their heritage by the
wayside. The shame and embarrassment they
possess; the distaste they carry for Mattie
and anyone like her; the judgment they harbor
in their hearts can only be described as
selfish and unwavering. It leaves us all with
a bitter taste in our mouths and too much
pride in our hearts.
Every family has their skeletons, some more
than others. For anyone who performs research
into their family heritage who denies the
existence and finds a person such as Mattie
hidden within their family tree they should
remind themselves of one thing. They are a
part of one big family that is made up of
different individuals.
Not everyone is going to believe the same
things. Not every family member is going to
follow family tradition. Everyone is a
complete, special and unique individual with
their own set of circumstances and ways to
cope with the life that is handed to them.
Not every life is given a smooth path to
follow. Not every family member is handed a
life that is not fraught with difficulty. To
deny any family member the promise of their
heritage is to deny that person a part of
their legacy; a part of their family. The
people who have the notion they are better
than anyone else or consider a particular
family member to be evil or demon possessed
should stop for a while and take stock into
their own life. They should realize we all
make up ‘the family’ and should realize that
their family is a part of every other family,
which makes up who we are. To simply hide
these people or remove them from existence
doesn’t alter the fact that these people such
as Mattie exist and are an important part of
their very own family.
While we all would like to uncover that we
are somehow related to nobility of kings and
queens, the fact remains that some of us are
just common, hard-working individuals who
deserve, at the very least, the same respect
and consideration as anyone else. My
suggestion to these people, who consider
themselves better than anyone else or holier
than thou, is to try and look at the people
they have discarded as human beings. They
have mother and fathers just like everyone
else. They have spouses and children too.
They have lives that are just as valuable as
the rest of the world and they are special
people in their own right.
Before anyone can rightly judge them, they
should consider what actions they might have
taken were they thrust into the same
circumstances. These people should remember,
that God loves everyone. He loves the
prostitute and the tax collector equally. He
loves us all, just as much as He loves Mattie
and her family and if God can allow Mattie
and her family to be in His family, why can’t
the rest of the family allow it too? Don’t we
all descend from the same source? Didn’t he
make us all? Didn’t He make the circumstance
that existed in Mattie’s life as well as He
made the circumstances in everyone else’s
life?
There are still some who would suggest that
God didn’t have anything to do with Mattie or
her circumstances, but I for one, beg to
differ with a belief that God has His hand in
each and every circumstance in every person’s
life.
I know Mattie personally and I know that she
is a genuinely loving individual who has done
the best with the circumstances she was
forced to deal with. Given the chance to know
Mattie and anyone in her family, you would
probably love her too and we all need a
little love in this world.
The next time you, as a family tree
researcher, come across someone whom you find
to be a distasteful family member, someone
whom you had rather not list in your family
tree, I hope you think about Mattie and her
family. Consider for a moment that Mattie
could possible be your child. How would you
feel if a part of your family ostracized you
and excluded you and your family from their
rightful heritage?
Source: http://www.searchwhateveraustralia.com.au/
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